How to Deal with Disappointments and Frustrations?
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Personal development, Self Improvement
Happiness and unhappiness as well as disappointments are a part of life. Others cannot handle our problems as well as our frustrations. We have to tackle them by ourselves. The approach, of each one of us, can be and is different to handling any impediment or a stumbling block.
My way of tackling, any frustrations, is not to expect, anything from anybody. If I need any services, I am happy to pay for it, rather than get anything free. If I do not expect anything from anybody, I do not feel disappointed. Instead of depending upon others, except Doctors or computer experts or other experts in their line, I try to be self sufficient. I make it a point to pay for all professional services or if that is not acceptable to any expert, because he is a relative or has become a friend, I pay to them in kind, in the form of an expensive gift on an appropriate occasion.
Remember that that payment need not be in cash always, but also in the form of appreciation. I am aware, that often, I have made mistakes in dealing with people leading to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. I try to avoid making the same again, as I believe that making mistakes is one thing and not making the same again and again is another. Committing the same mistake again and again leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Dependence on others, when you feel that they have not come up to your satisfaction, leads to your being crushed and distressed. It is true that no man is an island. But it is also up to each one to have one’s own self respect and self confidence, and bear in mind the old adage, “Do Good to Others and Forget”. At the same time, everything must be paid for in whatever form is appropriate.
There is no barometer, which can gauge, how reliable is any person, on whom, you are going to rely to bail you out, in any difficulty or your need. Newspapers in India are full of tales, showing that even blood relations have committed the murders of their closet relatives, like father, mother and brother for their personal gains to grab their properties.
The first person of whom you should take, care is yourself. Others come later on.
You should treat yourself with love and respect, before others can love and respect you. Self-respect is the cornerstone of all desirable qualities, which any of us should or would like to develop. A self respecting person, if he faces any hardship, makes a way, instead of throwing in the towel and breast beating.
Whatever and whenever, you face any depressing situation, or a frustrating set of circumstances, instead of just sitting and thinking about it, straight away get busy, in what you are most interested. Change your routine or approach, as occasionally, we have to change our path in life for faster and better accomplishments.
Going on the beaten path does not always result in the desired achievements. But whatever you do, do not have a lack lustre system or an attitude to it, or your life and work. Nothing great has ever been attained in life, without zeal and enthusiasm. All of us are generally enthusiastic about what we cherish from time to time. One may be enthusiastic for one hour and another for 15 days to 45 days. But if we want to make a success of our life, we need to be aflame for 30 years of our life, till it has become a habit for us to be so. This is what finally leads to our attainment of the desired goal. The challenge before all of us is to be animated all the time. Nothing great in life can be achieved unless we are whole hearted and excited about it.
Apart from this, you must have fun doing, whatever you are doing. Whatever we do, we must do it with our whole heart. This will leave no scope or even time for frustrations and disappointments. I have noticed in my own life, that whenever I am deeply immersed in my work, I forget not only about my ailments, but also my problems, difficulties, complications and my worries.
It is strange, but true, that when you have a state of mind, in which you know what you want and are ardent about getting it, and not ever think of quitting, the world and the circumstances have an extraordinary way of giving it to you.
Keep in mind that basic to any performance is energy, which must be maintained at the optimum level. More often than not, it is our tiredness, which defeats us, as sometimes, it is beyond our power and control. The world truly belongs to the energetic. We cannot always find perfect conditions. The best approach is to do the best, you can, where ever you are and whatever tools, you have.
Failure is never fatal and success is not always there. But what matters is the courage to continue with your quest. All the battles of life are won or lost, first in the mind. You should shun people who belittle you and your ambitions. Correlate and connect with the people who encourage you and make you feel that you can also become great. Many people succeed because somebody close to them expects them to succeed. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. Parking places could be distractions, like chatting on mobile phone, going on internet and spending hours together on social sites, or just gossiping and chatting instead of doing your tasks, which will help you in the achievement of your definite chief goals. One saves oneself much pain, by taking pains; much trouble, by taking trouble. Only he conquers, who endures.
JOGINDER SINGH, now a well known author and columnist for several National and State newspapers, joined the Indian Police Service in 1961, in his first attempt at the eligible age of 20. He has served in his Karnataka cadre and Government of India, in several capacities, including the last high profile job of Director, CBI, India (Equivalent of FBI of USA). He has authored 29 books so far and some of them have been published in all Indian languages as well as in Bhasha Indonesia. His books include the magnus opus, “ Inside CBI” and his autobiography “ Without Fear And Favour”, apart from books on the contemporary conditions in India, like Inside India, Inside Indian Police (Both Hindi and English), Police Ke Kahani Meri Zabani (Hindi), Good Governance, Discovery of Independent India, Indian Monocracy, Scams, Demise of Indian Dream. He is an excellent motivation and management speaker and is in great demand all over the country. His books on Inspiration and encouragement include the following; Be The Best, You Too, Can Succeed, Winning Ways, Flying High with Broken Wings, Positive Thinking and Success Mantras. He is author of DIRECTING THE CBI, TRYST WITH TERROR: Terrorism in India and WEALTH CREATION THROUGH FAIR MEANS AND FOUL: Scams in India